Oppo-pinion time: What is the manliest crossover?

"Carbon Fiber Sasquatch" (turbopumpkin) 09/15/2016 at 22:18 • Filed to: Opinion, oppopinion time

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Crossovers are thought of as Mom-mobiles, the neo-minivan if you will. (They lack the seating of the minivan but have all wheel drive! Soooo kewl!!)

Pick one from each of the first two groups !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! and explain why for each one. Wrangler is off the table for obvious reasons, the most blatant being that’s it’s a true body on frame SUV and therefore not a crossover

Not a crossover either but very “manly”, I can feel my facial and chest hair thicken as I type this

CB > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/15/2016 at 22:21

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Define manliness for me.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/15/2016 at 22:25

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Outback and GlC43AMG.

My citroen won't start > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/15/2016 at 22:26

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What do you mean by manliness?

The most capable CUV thing is probably the Freelander.

LongbowMkII > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/15/2016 at 22:28

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I believe the Chevy traverse has optional testicles.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > CB 09/15/2016 at 22:33

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Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > My citroen won't start 09/15/2016 at 22:34

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manliness:

HammerheadFistpunch > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/15/2016 at 22:35

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Forester. If we are talking “manliness” then the one that can get it done with minimal pomp and circumstance is the winner. forester does what you need*, doesn’t complain.

*except tow

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > HammerheadFistpunch 09/15/2016 at 22:38

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Oh yeah, Subarus are really good at just about everything. Really the Swiss army knives of the car world

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 09/15/2016 at 22:39

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Would you rate the currently non-existent GLC63 AMG more or less manly?

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/15/2016 at 22:40

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Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet because nothing is as manly or womanly as not giving a fuck.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/15/2016 at 22:44

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Less manly than an outback.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/15/2016 at 22:48

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It pains me to say this but the Journey looks pretty cool in Blacktop trim.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 09/15/2016 at 22:50

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Great choice!

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 09/15/2016 at 22:51

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hahahaha

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > LongbowMkII 09/15/2016 at 22:52

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no no, adding truck nutz don’t make it a manly vechile

facw > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/15/2016 at 22:55

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They lack the seating of the minivan but have all wheel drive!

Well yeah, if you get a shitty minivan that doesn’t have AWD...

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/15/2016 at 22:59

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It’s very aggressive until you see the rear three quarters

Probenja > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/15/2016 at 23:13

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Duh:

I like the sportage too but I would say it’s more “sporty” than “manly”.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/15/2016 at 23:25

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But you won’t ever see the rear 3/4 because it’s too slow to pass you.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/15/2016 at 23:35

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Hahaha

6Cylinder > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/16/2016 at 00:13

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Crosstrek with goodies.

Tristan > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/16/2016 at 00:29

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None of them, and yet-all of them. Because they’re all the same thing with slightly different shades of gray paint available.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/16/2016 at 09:03

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XJ is the only acceptable answer.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > Tristan 09/16/2016 at 11:27

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I wish there were more green cars, but I'm happy blue is coming back!

RT > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/18/2016 at 10:03

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Some of the ‘manliest’ vehicles on the planet are crossovers.

Here are some examples:

Talbot Matra-Simca Rancho, 1977-1984.

AMC Eagle, 1980-1988.

Isuzu Vehicross, 1997-2001.

Subaru Forester STi, 2004-2007.

Škoda Yeti, 2009-present.

After seeing all these, I have to admit even crossovers can be quite cool.

RT > RT 09/18/2016 at 10:22

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*Forester image got Kinja’d.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > RT 09/18/2016 at 14:37

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No doubt, but none of those are currently on sale in the US and only one is still in production.

The general consensus is still of crossovers being Mom-mobiles, hence the question

RT > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 09/18/2016 at 15:23

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Well, previous RAV4s, CRVs and Vitaras are pretty close. Luxury crossovers such as the BMW X5 seemed to be well-engineered at least. The closest thing we have to a normal new crossover with these attributes is probably the Legacy Outback.

You’re right that the image is certainly here with the current crop of crossovers, especially those in the US market, but this selection proves that it can be done at the very least.